In Search Of Other Options and What Happened After
by KatrinaEagle
Summary: Roxas just had Seifer pinned to a wall, when Hayner walks in on them, and together they explore the realms of canon and Roxas' multiple potential boyfriends. Crack, not meant to be taken seriously at all.


A/N: Lol I pretty much just slammed all Roxas pairings in this crack fic, including those I ship. This was so much fun, I'd do it again without a second thought. Also, "drama" in the category MMD, because this is a "drama" in every sense. First time I've ever written a "true" drama before, and the only dramas I've "read" are those of the Agatha Christie murder series, so I apologize if it's hard to read. Without further ado, enjoy. A/N end

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_In Search Of Other Options and What Happened After_

A Roxas centric fan fiction

…and having some fun with Hayner and Seifer

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[Roxas pushes Seifer against a wall, leaning close.]

[Hayner walks by, sees the scene and stops, stunned.]

Hayner: "What!"

Roxas: "…What?"

Seifer: [sighs] "Get it on, Chickenwuss."

Hayner: "You- him- what!"

Roxas: "Yeah. Me, him."

Hayner: "How can this be possible? _I've _liked him for, like, _forever_."

Seifer: "Oh, is that right? Not surprising, considering that I'm smoking hot."

Roxas: "Hayner, I'm… Well, I'd be lying if I said I'm sorry, but something along that line, yeah."

Hayner: "Rox, I love you and everything, but you and Seifer? No, just… no."

Roxas: [starts getting angry] "What the hell, Hay. Who are you to say that?"

Hayner: "The _people _have spoken. Seiner is like, _canon_."

Seifer: "I don't get a say in this?"

Roxas: "And that means I can't get into Seifer's pants, but you can?"

Seifer: "Very nice pants, too, if I may add."

Hayner: "I'm blonde. And his archenemy. We have tension, of the _sexual _kind."

Roxas: [exasperated, slaps himself on forehead] "_I'm _blonde, and his enemy too!"

Seifer: [mutters darkly] "Shouldn't that be changed to 'boyfriend'?"

Hayner: "Yes, but- look, what about _Axel_?"

Roxas: "What about him? Me and Axel is sort of like me and Pence- not particularly appealing."

Hayner: [says nothing, points a trembling finger at Roxas]

Seifer: "Could you guys finish this quick? Kind of painful hard-on here."

Seifer: [retreats due to identical death glares] "…Or, I could sit in the corner and wait. Okay."

Hayner: "I can't _believe _you, Roxas!"

Roxas: "Look, I can't just leave him because of you, Hay."

Hayner: "It's so-! Look, Rox, your chances of getting a boyfriend is like, way higher than mine. Do you know that after Seiner, HayRox is second? After you two get together _with each other_, what am I going to do?"

Roxas: "Me and _you_? …No matter how hot that is, you can't expect me to seriously leave Seifer _now_. What about Olette?"

Hayner: "And leave Pence with nobody?" [scoffs] "Sorry, Rox, I'm not as evil as you are."

Roxas: "Well. I kind of really _like _Seifer, you know."

Hayner: "But you have so _many _other choices! AkuRoku! _That's _very canon, isn't it?"

Roxas: "Axel's got the hots for me, that I agree. Doesn't mean it's mutual."

Hayner: "And, and- SoRoku! Sora, your Somebody! He should be waking up sometime soon."

Roxas: "Hmm. I'd look forward to punching his lights out."

Hayner: "And then there's RikuRoku-"

Roxas: "What! Get together with that… imposter? He basically led Xion to her death!"

Hayner: "-and Xion…"

Roxas: "_Who is __**dead**_!"

Hayner: "-and Ventus, whom they say is basically, well, you."

Roxas: "Yes, and getting it on with 'me, myself and I' isn't creepy enough."

Hayner: "And there's always Namine. She lives just on the outskirts of town, it's not really far…"

Roxas: "My memories got fucked up because of her, _sorry _if I'm still a little spiteful. Not to mention, DiZ is scary and a theif, and I'd be lucky to be within five paces of her and still be breathing if I so much as look at her the wrong way."

Hayner: "Various members of the Organization XIII?"

Roxas: "…They're all about a few _decades _older than me! What! Also, some of them wanted me _dead_."

Hayner: "Kairi-"

Roxas: "-is not my type, enough said." [crosses arms defiantly]

Hayner: "Cloud."

Roxas: "Who?"

Hayner: "Cloud. Your older brother."

Roxas: "I have an older brother I don't know? No, wait, that's not the point. You're asking me to go down the _incest_ road now, just so you've got a chance to do Seifer?"

Hayner: "Right, not a good idea. Zack would probably knock you out for 30 years or so. But c'mon, Roxas!" [pleading] "I'll be lonely!"

Roxas: "No you won't, I'd still be here for you."

Hayner: "No, you'd be off gallivanting with Seifer every chance you've got."

Roxas: "I still love you, Hay, don't be absurd."

Hayner: [wails] "You'd forget me and leave me!"

[Roxas leans over to kiss Hayner passionately, Hayner responds hungrily.]

Seifer: [raises voice slightly, because he's still sitting in the corner] "That's very hot, but that raging hard on is still here, Roxas."

[Roxas breaks the kiss, looks to Seifer]

Roxas: "You wouldn't mind Hayer joining in, would you?"

Seifer: [stunned] "You mean, three of us… in a relationship, with each other, at the same time?"

[Roxas nods, Hayner looks hopeful]

Seifer: "I'd say I have issues with cheating, but this is sort of confusing. I don't mind, though, no. Chickenwuss here had been lurking around my dreams until you came along and pinned me to the wall."

Roxas: "I don't think there's an appropriate reaction for that."

Hayner: "Me neither. I say we start with Seifer's raging hard on."

[Seifer opens his mouth to say something, but is silenced by Hayner's hand down his pants and Roxas' mouth on his.]

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Seifer is a lucky bastard, ikr. So yes, this is just experimental. I have great fun with this. Missed out on a pairing (I know I missed out VaniRox, but yeah.) that you like? Think that Roxas shouldn't brush Axel off? Sure of Roxas engaging in some incest-y action after this? LEAVE A REVIEW. :D I reply personally to all reviews, unless it's anonymous. I can't reply to those. XD

Hope you guys enjoyed!


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